I don’t have five fun thoughts or stories with pictures for this week because if I’m being honest, it kind of rocked our world. On Monday I headed back to work to teach a friend’s maternity leave for 6-7 weeks. I teach German at four different middle school buildings, traveling from school to school throughout the day. Caleb is staying with my sister-in-law so Jordan drops him off in the mornings (bright and early around 7) and I pick him up in the afternoons. The arrangements really couldn’t be better but man…we are only a week in and I already feel SO frazzled! How do you working moms do it?
The teaching part has been great. Getting back in the classroom felt like getting back on a bike and I pretty quickly fell into the habits, little phrases, and other things that I used to do when I taught Spanish. My students have been great overall, the lesson plans the teacher gave me are detailed and fun (thanks, Pam!) and I have a feeling the teaching piece of this will be pretty doable.
I think what’s been hard about this week is I’ve just felt so flustered and overwhelmed trying to keep all the plates spinning outside of work. I’m used to waking up and having a slow morning with Caleb, kissing my husband goodbye, and spending the next hour or so playing with Caleb as we get ready and start the day. Mornings now feel like this crazy dance to get showered, get ready, get Caleb up and ready, make sure we all have everything we need for the day, and head out the door (WHEW!). I know that we’ll get in the hang of a routine more soon but this week we just felt so all over the place.
Adding to that, when I do get home after working all day and picking up Caleb, I just feel wiped. I’ve been on my feet all day and standing to make dinner is exhausting, especially when my boy misses his mama and just wants attention and snuggles (which are not easy to give while attempting to chop or cook things). Our house is a disaster since Caleb’s favorite pastime is pulling everything out of every drawer and cabinet, and the mess makes me feel even more out of sorts.
I’ve found myself counting down the minutes until bedtime, even though those precious few hours are the only time I get with Caleb now. And when bedtime does finally roll around, we both just crash on the couch until it’s a reasonable enough hour to crawl into bed (that’s any time after 9 in our house).
I’m sure all you working moms are nodding your head saying, “Yup, we’ve known this all along!” and I have so much respect for you. Maybe this will get easier as we get used to it and find our rhythm, but for now, it just feels like a lot. I feel like the self that I’m able to give to my son and my husband isn’t my best, most loving one, and I don’t want that to be the case the majority of the time.
So if you think about us this week, shoot up some random prayers that we find our groove, that we get some rest, that we learn to love each other and our little one in the midst of this new routine that feels anything but restful. We are so grateful that I was able to stay home and grateful for this opportunity to earn some extra money, but it doesn’t make the transition to this new routine any easier!