When I started blogging over two years ago, I was so excited to make this space my own. I had big dreams of it growing into an online community that would encourage and inspire women. Knowing that we would soon start a family, I also envisioned the blog being a potential source of income for us. I spent hours and hours designing my site, reading hundreds of articles on how to grow your blog and social media, joining link parties (are these even still a thing?!), visiting other bloggers’ sites and trying to build relationships with them, and so much more. For the most part, it accomplished what I was hoping for!
I saw my social media and readership begin to grow, even if not in viral ways. I developed a community of faithful readers whose comments and perspectives still challenge me and bring me joy to this day. I saw my page-views increase, especially as a few posts gained traction on Pinterest. I had a few successful sponsored posts that earned us some money and felt consistent with my vision for the blog.
When we had Caleb over a year ago, I was so excited to quit my job and spend my days taking care of him and blogging. But where I thought my passion for my blog would grow with motherhood, it’s surprisingly done the opposite.
Over this past year, I’ve found myself less and less excited to open up my computer and write. It seemed like my newsfeed was full of the same kind of “5 Ways To _____” or “6 Tips To _______” posts and I didn’t feel much desire to add to the noise. When I had a few moments to myself during nap-time or in the evenings, all I wanted was to sit down, journal, read for fun, or do something that felt peaceful and life-giving. Where writing once felt energizing and fun, sitting down to come up with a blog post started to feel like a chore.
Any time I’ve sat down to brainstorm ideas for posts, I’ve felt bored and uninspired, like I’m trying to force myself to write something that will fit the mold of self-help posts and list posts that seem to be all the rage these days. Maybe that means I need to open myself up to just write and not worry about whether it will be shareable or useful. My friend Brittany does a beautiful job of this on her site and if I choose to jump more intensely back into blogging, I have a feeling it will be like she does! But for now, I feel more of a pull to step back from writing in general.
At the same time as my passion for blogging has been decreasing, my contentment in our family life has been growing and taking root. I love our small, ordinary life that feels so far from the world of side-hustles, business-building, and brand-managing. I love that my days are slow and full of quiet moments with my husband, my son, and the people we know and love. I love that my primary influence is not on behalf of brands, but rather as a mom and wife pointing her family to a life in Jesus that is full of joy and hope.
I’m not making any big, dramatic decisions to delete this space or anything like that. I still really love writing personal posts, sharing house pictures, and occasionally writing reflections on life, marriage, and motherhood. I’d love to do those things as I feel inspired and as our lives permit. More than I want to step away from this blog, I want to continue to step back from a blogging world that makes it seem like the only purpose for a blog is to grow your social media, gain more followers, and eventually profit off of it. I’m not interested in that, and I’d guess a lot of you aren’t either.
So for now, I’m trusting that the sense of joy and contentment I feel in my family and life at home is enough. I’m trusting that if I don’t feel passionate about writing something, I probably shouldn’t spend my time writing it just for the sake of posting regularly here. Like I shared about in this post a while back, I’d rather be present to my people than productive in ways that ultimately don’t matter all that much.
You can definitely expect to see me here sharing personal updates and the occasional blog post, but if my regular posts seem few and far between, know that I’m probably off chasing my giggly kiddo up and down the stairs for the millionth time or snuggling on the couch with my hubby and puppy. I’m soaking in the fleeting moments of the little life we are so lucky to share and trusting that my influence there is eternally significant, even if it doesn’t convert to page-views or the occasional extra dollar.
Whether you’re a real life friend, an online friend, or just a loyal reader who keeps coming around through all the ups and downs, know that I am so grateful for you and all the ways you’ve supported, encouraged, and inspired me over the years. I’ve learned so much from writing here and can’t wait to keep sharing life with you in the years to come.