Welcome to this week’s Womanly Wednesday! This week, my sweet friend Maegan is sharing about what it’s looked like to wrestle with body image throughout her weight loss journey. She frames her struggle beautifully in the context of our hearts and God’s heart for us and it’s an honor to have her story on the blog today!
For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with my weight. When I was little, it was cute, because who doesn’t love little chubby kids? As I got older, though, and realized it wasn’t just cute “baby fat” that I had, it became a problem for me.
I knew I was bigger than the other girls in my class. I never got bullied for it and still had lots of friends, but it was something that I was constantly aware of. I have always walked into a room and immediately done a scan to see if I’m the biggest person in it. If I saw someone heavier, I would sigh with relief and feel better about myself. I would even, sometimes, try to stand near that person to make myself look better.
It’s a terrible way to live. You see and hear it everywhere, but it is so true that comparison is absolutely the thief of joy. I had no idea the other people’s circumstances or their own body image struggles. I’m sure it would make those heavier women feel horrible if they knew I did that to them, even though I absolutely meant no harm by it. And, sadly, I’m sure I’ve been used as that heaviest person standard for others, and I assure you, it doesn’t feel good.
Loving your body is not easy. Even if you have a “perfect body” by society’s standards, I’m sure there is something you don’t like about it. It’s how we’re programmed; we often sit around with our friends and discuss all the things we don’t like about ourselves. It’s a dangerous trap.
After wallowing in self-pity for several years, wanting so desperately to not be fat but also wanting to be lazy and eat whatever I wanted, I finally realized I needed to make some changes.
In January of 2014, I began a weight-loss journey. It was not easy, but I was determined. I worked really hard and lost a little more than fifty pounds in about eleven months.
People were noticing. I was getting tons of compliments, my confidence level was higher than ever, and I was really proud of myself. Unfortunately, though, I still didn’t love my body.
I still needed to lose about twenty pounds that, no matter how hard I tried, refused to come off. I still scanned any room I went into to see if I was the heaviest person in it. I had worked hard, but there was still something missing.
I searched my heart a lot while I worked on losing weight. I wanted to make sure I was doing it for the right reasons—to be healthy, to show my future kids how to eat right and that exercise is vital, all of those good reasons. But, if I’m being totally honest, I was mostly doing this for myself. I was doing this so I could like who I saw in the mirror, so I could wear cute outfits, so I could be that person heavy people envied.
It’s not a bad thing to lose weight for yourself, don’t get me wrong. But I was missing the whole point. I was forgetting Who made me, Who molded me out of dust to be His creation, Who said, “It is good.”
I was completely leaving God out of the equation. I was thinking only of me, me, me, and never once considering the fact that I should be losing weight to give God the glory. I should be working on becoming healthier because God furnished me with only one earthly body, and it was time I started taking care of it.
When I stepped back and remembered that I should be doing everything for God’s glory and not my own, it really hit me hard. I was reminded how much God loves me, no matter my size or skin color or hairstyle or nose shape. God doesn’t love us despite those things, He loves us because of those things! He made us in His image, and of course that is beautiful!
I still struggle with body image issues and wish I was smaller. I still struggle with comparison and think, “If only I had her hair or her toned arms or her wardrobe.” I am human, and I am going to fail, time and time again.
Lucky for me, God shows me grace on a second-by-second basis. He gently reminds me that I was made for a purpose and that He finds me beautiful. If God, in all His majesty, thinks I’m beautiful, why on earth shouldn’t I feel the same way about myself?
Being overweight is a tough thing to deal with in today’s world. It’s easy to feel judged or looked down upon when you deal with such a visible insecurity. It’s easy to talk negatively about yourself or compare yourself to others, but I encourage you not to do that. When you think a negative thought about your appearance, list five things you do like about yourself. Remember, God loves everything about you, so hopefully that helps!
I am probably always going to struggle with body image issues in some way. It isn’t something we can just shake off or move on from, even if we do lose fifty-plus pounds. I just remember that God is on my side and that it is far healthier for me and my future children and for everyone around me to speak positively rather than negatively about myself.
I am a work in progress, and I know God has great things in store for my life. God made me with purpose and intention, and, unlike in comparison, I find joy in that fact.
Maegan Dockery is a lover of Jesus, her family and friends, Harry Potter, and Kraft macaroni & cheese. You can find out more about her on her blog, Running With Random, and connect with her on Facebook,, Instagram, and Pinterest.
You know, I’ve always struggled with body image too. And I’ve thought about the fact that I should be taking care of myself to honor God, but I forget that way too often. Thanks for the reminder today!
Charlene recently posted…Thanksgiving Vacation Recap