Marriage

How This Blog Will Change After Baby Arrives

February 22, 2016 By Lauren

To all of my wonderful readers,

I am so glad I started blogging before we got pregnant because it has been an absolute joy to share the world of pregnancy and motherhood with all of you. I’ve loved all your comments, encouragement, advice, suggestions, and sweet words as I and we have navigated this crazy process of growing a tiny human.

I wanted to take a minute to sit down and talk through with you all a few of my dreams and ideas for what this blog will look like immediately after Caleb arrives how this space might change once I am a full-time mama.

First things first…

A Blogging Maternity Leave

I’m a big believer that some seasons are meant to be slow, that we are meant to rest and take a step back from good things so we can focus on the best things. I’d say that having our first child definitely falls into that category! As such, I’m planning on taking a step back and reducing my posting here, at least for the first few weeks after Caleb is born.

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Two Things To Do Before A Major Life Transition

January 25, 2016 By Lauren

I received a message from a reader and friend a few months back that has stuck with me as our first baby’s due date’s gotten closer and closer. She said something along these lines: “My husband and I are so grateful to be pregnant and can’t wait to have our first little one this year. But as we soak in some slow mornings together, date nights, and just plain alone time, I can’t help but be a little sad about the major life transition headed our way. I’m sad to leave that time behind. I’m going to miss all the time we had together just us but I feel so selfish and guilty even saying that out loud. Is this normal?”

My answer was a resounding, 100% YES.

For a long time, I’ve been a little bit embarrassed and confused by my own reactions to big life changes and transitions. I worry about how I should feel in a certain situation like graduating, moving, getting married, getting pregnant, etc, and when my emotions don’t match what I expect to feel, I feel ashamed that something’s wrong with me.

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Our 2016 Dreams And Goals

January 12, 2016 By Lauren

We have lots of dreams and thoughts for 2016, but let’s be real: having a baby will throw a wrench in even our best-laid plans.

Instead of having super specific goals that just might not be realistic with a little one, these are some of the things I (and the hubby) would love to work on and see growth in for 2016. I might set more specific monthly goals for myself as we get adjusted to life with a baby, but for now, we’re thinking big picture!

The blogging goals are more specific to me and the personal goals involve our family as a whole. We will have to give ourselves lots of grace as we adjust to life as a family of four (I can’t leave Olive out!) so some of these might fall to the wayside in seasons. And you know what? I’d say that’s a-okay with us.

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The One Thing To Do When Marriage Feels Hard

January 11, 2016 By Lauren

When we got married, we knew it would be hard at times. We’d had plenty of wise, seasoned couples warn us that while marriage has its share of sweet, joyful moments, it will also stretch, break, and grow us in ways we never could have imagined. Oh man, have we seen this to be true.

We’ve wrestled with what it looks like to support each other in times of depression. We’ve struggled with the reality that physical intimacy is really hard and confusing at times. We’ve worked to love each other in the midst of our personality differences, different hobbies, and a million other things (you can check out the archive of my marriage posts here).

And as we’ve shared life with other couples and read all of the your comments here on this blog, we’ve been reminded over and over again that we’re not the only ones who struggle in our marriages. This combining of hearts, souls, bodies, and lives is beautiful and challenging, and it seems like just about every married couple we know struggles with it in some way.

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2015: A Year In Review

December 21, 2015 By Lauren

This year has been so good to us, and it’s crazy to think back on all the big steps we’ve taken in the last 12 months alone. Since I can’t send out a Christmas card to all of you (and let’s be real, our Christmas card doesn’t go into this much detail), I thought I’d take a bit to write down and remember some of the biggest events of our year. Maybe more for us to remember than for all of you, but hey…that’s okay every once in a while, right?

Why Your Marriage Is More Than Your Sex Life

Source: Haley George Photography

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5 Lessons Learned In 5 Years of Dating And Marriage (An Anniversary Post)

November 30, 2015 By Lauren

Five years ago this past weekend (Thanksgiving 2010, to be exact), I hopped on a plane to visit a boy from Kansas City who I’d met a few months before while making milkshakes in a Young Life camp snack bar. Lots of late-night conversations, some awkward almost-hand-holding, and one lakeside, starlit first kiss later, we started dating (you can read the rest of our love story here).

It’s crazy to look back on these five years and see all the ways God has shaped us, delighted us, broken us, and used our relationship to draw us deeper into Him and into each other. Dating and marrying Jordan is the best thing I’ve done and I wouldn’t trade our story for the world, but it definitely hasn’t been easy. I write pretty frequently about marriage in this space because while I think it’s beautiful and wonderful, my own experience (and the stories of so many women I know) have shown me over and over again that it’s also really freaking hard.

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How Perfectionism and High Expectations Impacted Our Marriage

November 9, 2015 By Lauren

For as long as I can remember, I have been a perfectionist. As an elementary schooler, I made my mom braid my hair over and over until it was free of even the smallest bump. In middle school and high school, I poured all that perfectionist energy into being the all-around perfect student: excellent grades, perfect friends, and the perfect youth group girl. Even in college when God started to strip me of some of those tendencies, I still tried to be the perfect example of Christian ministry, doing all I could to be the best youth leader I could be. None of those things brought me the wholeness and fullness I desired, but I still kept running after them.

As you can probably imagine, when I got engaged and married a year after I graduated college, my perfectionism didn’t exactly go away.

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A Five Month Pregnancy Update

October 29, 2015 By Lauren

As of this week, I am just a little past the halfway point of this pregnancy. It is crazy to think how the days and weeks have both gone so slowly and flown by. I have a feeling that’s a lot like what being a mama will feel like! It’s been a while since I did a “bumpdate” (like this one at 15 weeks) so today’s post is dedicated just to random ramblings and updates about pregnancy. If you’re super curious about all this like me, then read on and enjoy! If not, then enjoy the rest of your day! 🙂

Anyway, here are a few updates of how these last few weeks and months have been:

How I’m Feeling: Like I shared a few weeks ago, the nausea is officially GONE! It faded at about week 16 and with the exception of a few random yucky tummy days, I’ve been feeling good! This is such a relief and I have such respect for all you mama’s who were sick during your entire pregnancy. I can’t even imagine that! Now I’m just super hungry all the time and experiencing some random, not-so-fun heartburn at night. I’ve also been experiencing some round ligament pains and lots of back pain, but I have a feeling that’s just par for the course. Anyone have any tips they found to help soothe the aches and pains as their bodies stretch to hold and nourish a new little one?

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Five Tips For Living In An Introvert-Extrovert Marriage

October 26, 2015 By Lauren

Even though according to Myers-Briggs I am an ENFJ, I am just one point away from being an “I” (aka introvert). I identify pretty strongly with the introverts of the world. I am social and love interacting with people, but it drains my energy more than it gives me life. Having a whole day to myself or with one person is about as dreamy as it gets for me. I love quiet, loud music and lots of background noise overwhelms me, and it usually takes me about 30 seconds to cut through the small talk and ask people deep questions about their hearts and lives.

Pretty early on, Jordan and I started to see how our personalities were different in this area. If Jordan was gone for some reason, I almost always wanted to spend that night alone reading, watching TV, or just doing random things around the house by myself. If I was gone, Jordan almost always thought of a friend to text, something to do, or a place to be. My default was to choose to be alone and Jordan’s default was to invite people into our world. And as you can imagine, we occasionally had some clashes.

Even though neither of us is an extreme extrovert or introvert, we still quickly realized one important thing we’d need to explore in our marriage: How do we learn to love and support each other while also giving ourselves the space to fill our emotional tanks like we are wired to do?

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Overcoming Busyness: Why No Is Our New Favorite Word

October 19, 2015 By Lauren

When we catch up with the people we know and share life with, the question “How are you guys doing?” is often met with one consistent answer: BUSY. The people we love are working their you-know-what’s off at entry level jobs, going to school, and navigating the new waters of grownup relationships, marriages, and even the first few years of parenthood. And in the midst of all that, they are getting oh so tired of asking the same questions over and over: When will we catch up? When will this season end?

This fall, our schedules have seemed a little fuller too and we’ve been feeling the crunch of busy. Jordan is coaching high school cross-country, which means he leaves our house at 5:45 AM for morning practice and doesn’t usually get home until 5:45 PM. Combine that with my pouring time into blogging, teaching, and experiencing all the ups and downs of growing a tiny human, and our days and lives have felt a lot busier these last few months.