Sobremesa Stories

Five Tips For Living In An Introvert-Extrovert Marriage

October 26, 2015 By Lauren

Even though according to Myers-Briggs I am an ENFJ, I am just one point away from being an “I” (aka introvert). I identify pretty strongly with the introverts of the world. I am social and love interacting with people, but it drains my energy more than it gives me life. Having a whole day to myself or with one person is about as dreamy as it gets for me. I love quiet, loud music and lots of background noise overwhelms me, and it usually takes me about 30 seconds to cut through the small talk and ask people deep questions about their hearts and lives.

Pretty early on, Jordan and I started to see how our personalities were different in this area. If Jordan was gone for some reason, I almost always wanted to spend that night alone reading, watching TV, or just doing random things around the house by myself. If I was gone, Jordan almost always thought of a friend to text, something to do, or a place to be. My default was to choose to be alone and Jordan’s default was to invite people into our world. And as you can imagine, we occasionally had some clashes.

Even though neither of us is an extreme extrovert or introvert, we still quickly realized one important thing we’d need to explore in our marriage: How do we learn to love and support each other while also giving ourselves the space to fill our emotional tanks like we are wired to do?

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Five On Friday: Gender Reveal!

October 23, 2015 By Lauren

Hi friends! It’s been a fun week in the English household. We got to see our little bean on the ultrasound, celebrate some fun Royals’ victories, and soak in slow time together. Weeks like this are my favorite! Here’s a peek at what our week looked like:

1) Trip to Branson

We headed out to good ol’ Branson, MO for a weekend getaway with our brother and sister-in-law. If you’ve never been to Branson, well, let’s just say it’s the Southern Baptist version of Las Vegas, complete with as many rhinestone-studded, Gospel-singing shows as any good Midwesterner could ever want. We didn’t do anything in the weekend that we couldn’t have just done in KC, but we still had lots of fun going on a walk around the lake, admiring the pretty trees, watching lots of baseball, and seeing The Martian, a movie we’d been super excited for! It was slow and joyful and exactly what we needed. I’m grateful to have family around who we love spending time with! We love you, Markus and Missy!

Jordan and his brother, Markus

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Womanly Wednesday: A Guest Post On Having A Miscarriage

October 21, 2015 By Lauren

Welcome to this week’s Womanly Wednesday! I met this week’s guest poster through Young Life when I moved to Kansas City. Sarah and her husband Josh got married on the exact same day we did (May 25, 2013) and it’s been fun to see them move forward in their marriage and their family. They love the Lord and bring so much joy and laughter wherever they go, and it’s an honor to have Sarah sharing her story here today. This month is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, and this post is the perfect reminder that if you’ve experienced this kind of loss, you are not alone. Thanks for sharing your story, Sarah.

I sat in church and felt very moved listening to the message about mothers on Mother’s Day. As our congregation prayed for every type of Mama imaginable, I felt a huge wave of Holy Spiritness saying “TAKE A PREGNANCY TEST!! YOU ARE WHO WE ARE PRAYING FOR!!” We got in the car and I had explained to my husband, Josh, very casually, how I felt. We had just started to have conversations about being ready to be parents and to try. I went with my gut feeling and made Josh go buy a pregnancy test.

Womanly Wednesday Having A Miscarriage Wedding Day

Photo Source: Little D Studios

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Easy Pumpkin Spice Brownies Recipe

October 20, 2015 By Lauren

I know some people are so hipster and anti-everything pumpkin spice, but y’all, I am ALL about it. I love the coffee, the pie, the creamers, and just about everything that has those warm, cozy flavors of fall. In this post a few weeks back on ten of my favorite pumpkin-chocolate recipes, I shared some of my fall favorites (like these amazing pumpkin-chocolate brownies). Cinnamon and nutmeg actually combine really well with dark chocolate flavors and I’ve loved just about everything I’ve ever tasted with that combo!

The only issue? Some of these recipes take WORK. Box mix brownies are my dessert go-to because they take about 5 minutes to mix and 40 minutes to bake, so they’re an easy thing to pop in the oven when guests get here and then enjoy the gooey goodness just as we’re all finishing dinner. I knew there must be some way to make box mix brownies into pumpkin-spice deliciousness, so I set to doing some research.

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Overcoming Busyness: Why No Is Our New Favorite Word

October 19, 2015 By Lauren

When we catch up with the people we know and share life with, the question “How are you guys doing?” is often met with one consistent answer: BUSY. The people we love are working their you-know-what’s off at entry level jobs, going to school, and navigating the new waters of grownup relationships, marriages, and even the first few years of parenthood. And in the midst of all that, they are getting oh so tired of asking the same questions over and over: When will we catch up? When will this season end?

This fall, our schedules have seemed a little fuller too and we’ve been feeling the crunch of busy. Jordan is coaching high school cross-country, which means he leaves our house at 5:45 AM for morning practice and doesn’t usually get home until 5:45 PM. Combine that with my pouring time into blogging, teaching, and experiencing all the ups and downs of growing a tiny human, and our days and lives have felt a lot busier these last few months.

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Five on Friday: Fall Conferences And Baby Registry Madness

October 16, 2015 By Lauren

This was one of those weeks that I was a little nervous for, mostly because it was packed full. But like I’ll describe in the point below, we made it and I am feeling good! Now on to a weekend of some fall fun and sweet time with our favorite people!

1) Parent-Teacher Conferences

There are so many things I love about being a teacher. Usually I actually enjoy parent-teacher conferences because I love the glimpse I get into kids’ lives and I love hearing how my students feel about my class when they don’t have to act cool for their friends. But as a rapidly-growing pregnant mama who has gotten used to taking 20 minute naps with her puppy every day after school, working from 7:00 AM to 8:00 PM straight for two days was pretty tough. I was really anxious about feeling dizzy and exhausted (and/or having heartburn) during conferences, but I managed to make it through with nothing but a few dazed conversations in the last 30 minutes when my energy finally faded. And then I came home and crashed on the floor with this girl and life was good again. I did it, guys. Fall parent teacher conferences are DONE!

Five on Friday Parent Teacher Conferences

Olive obviously missed me a lot while I was gone at conferences…

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Womanly Wednesday: A Guest Post On Sexual Abuse And Recovery

October 14, 2015 By Lauren

When I found Brittany’s blog, The Nested Nomad, a few months back, I immediately felt like I’d found a kindred soul. I love her honesty, her writing voice, and her heart to encourage others to live simple, beautiful, and adventurous lives. She’s one of my favorite bloggers to follow nowadays and I’m honored to have her story of sexual abuse and what it looks like to recover from it on the blog today! Thanks for sharing your story on this Womanly Wednesday, Brittany!

During my senior year of college, I started dating a guy whose life was full of red flags; red flags I was unwilling to acknowledge or that I was fooled into missing altogether. This man, whom I’ll call Mitchell (not his real name), professed to be Christian, led worship at my church, and was an all-around funny, charming, smooth-talking guy.

When he began pressuring me to have sex just a few months into dating, I hesitated and resisted, knowing this was not what God intended for our relationship. But it was difficult to say no to a man I thought I was growing to love, who had told me weeks earlier that he loved me and wanted to marry me someday, especially when his pressure subtly turned into coercion.

Many times I tried to put an end to the sexual component of our relationship, asking him if we could wait until we were married, and when I was strong enough, saying no in the moment. But for Mitchell, my no never meant no. It meant that it was time to twist my arm, convince me that sex was the only way for me to show my love for him, and then get what he wanted as quickly as he could.

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Letting Go Of Control In My Pregnancy

October 13, 2015 By Lauren

When my husband and I found out we were pregnant this past July, we were over the moon excited and absolutely terrified. I scoured Scripture looking for promises that God would answer the many prayers I whispered with my hands on my belly, hoping to find some sort of promise that if I prayed frequently and fervently enough, He would protect the little life growing inside me.

Instead, God pointed me over and over to a series of verses I’ve read a million times: Psalm 139. And my fearful heart that was rapidly expanding to hold this baby inside me read these words over and over:

“For you formed my inward parts;
    you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
    my soul knows it very well.
¹⁵My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
    the days that were formed for me,
    when as yet there was none of them”

That little baby inside me, the one whose quickly beating heart and soul I was already growing to love? That baby is deeply loved and safely held in the hands of its Creator. With love and gentleness, He is knitting together the parts of my baby, from its organs and limbs to its heart and personality. And whether that little life lasts eight weeks or 80 years, it is fearfully and wonderfully made by a Father who planned and saw each of those days.

I’m sharing more about what it has looked like for me to let go of control in this season of growing a tiny human over on Faith n’ Friends, a contributor blog I am excited to be a part of this fall. Head over there to check out the rest of this post and read some awesome posts by the other contributors! And make sure to like that blog’s Facebook page to get updates of when there are new posts!

Why It’s Dangerous To Shame Another Woman’s Feelings

October 12, 2015 By Lauren

Since I started blogging last April, I’ve tried to be intentional about what I choose to post about. I never want to write in a way that seeks to incite controversy just for the sake of inciting it. It seems like the internet isn’t a safe place to disagree with people while still loving them so I’ve just avoided more opinionated posts. But when I read 2-3 articles with similar messages over the last few weeks, I got a little upset. So with all the grace in the world and knowing that not everyone will agree with me on this one, I decided to respond.

Here’s a very short summary of one of the articles (and the other two were pretty similar): The author was out at a public place and overheard a pregnant woman talking to a friend. The pregnant woman was sharing about her pregnancy and told her friend that she had cried when she found out they were having another boy.

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Five on Friday: An Anniversary And A Bumpdate

October 9, 2015 By Lauren

Happy Friday, friends! I hope you all had wonderful weeks and are heading in to a weekend of goodness and fun time with family! Here’s a few updates from our week.

1) A Proposal Anniversary

This week marked three years since Jordan got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. Even though I had my suspicions he was going to propose that Friday because he’d been acting weird all week, it was still a sweet day full of joy and anticipation. He took me to get my nails done and then we spent some time reading the letters we’d written during our 1.5 years of being long distance (you can read more about our love story here). He took me to Liberty Memorial, a place we’d gone to many times to watch the sun set over the city. After reading me one more letter, the letter he’d written to my parents asking for my hand in marriage, he got down on one knee and asked me forever. Lots of squeals and jumping up and down later, I said yes! And the cherry on top? He’d had my two best friends fly out to photograph the proposal and then spend the weekend wedding dreaming and planning with me. It was such a fun and exciting time and I’m so grateful for all that’s happened since then!