Sobremesa Stories

Letting stories unfold around the table

What To Do When You Feel Like A Fake Grownup

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When I would watch movies of adults living out their marriages, families, and careers, I felt like they had figured out the secret to being a grownup.   I imagined that when I graduated or got married or got my first job, I would feel capable and mature like they did and would be more than ready to take on the challenges that each of these new life stages would bring.

But when those big life milestones came and went and I kept moving forward into adulthood, I didn’t magically feel grownup and confident.  I just felt like the same me I’d always been, except I was wearing a graduation cap or a wedding dress or staring shocked at a positive pregnancy test at 4 AM on a July morning.

On Feeling Like A Fake Grownup Pregnancy Announcement

Source: Haley George Photography

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Five on Friday: The First Busy Week Of The Year

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Happy Friday, y’all! These first few weeks of the school year we’ve had lots of slow nights and chances to just hang at home, watch Friday Night Lights, and snuggle our puppy.  This week was our first busy week with church stuff back into gear for the fall and some other random commitments and we both felt a little frazzled for a while there.

We intentionally try to keep our lives and our schedules slow for lots of reasons, and this week was a reminder of why! I love all the things we’re involved in but also love having slow time at night to rest, recharge, and reconnect with that husband of mine.  Our lives are usually pretty slow and I wouldn’t have it any other way! Anyway…here are some updates and pictures from our busier than usual week!

1) Kicking off our church small group for the fall!

We started hosting/leading a small group through our church last year and have loved getting to know these folks.  I learn so much from them each week and love getting to share life with them.  Most of them live pretty close and I love getting to share walks, coffee dates, pedicures, and shopping trips with all these lovely ladies (and the occasional double date with our hubbies too).  We kicked off the fall with a big family meal and I made one of my favorites for big groups: this meat sauce from Lexi’s Clean Kitchen with a huge pot of spaghetti and some roasted spaghetti squash for the non-gluten inclined folks.  It’s so easy to make and works for large groups of people.  You’ve definitely got to try it if you need an easy recipe for a big group of people!

Lexi's Clean Kitchen Meat Sauce

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A Pregnancy Update: 15 weeks

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There are some awesome bloggers who manage to do amazing weekly updates about their pregnancies, complete with adorable baby bump photos and detailed recaps of what that week of pregnancy was like.  Y’all, I am not one of those bloggers.  Not only do I feel like these first few months of pregnancy have flown by in a whirlwind of nausea, exhaustion, traveling, blogging, and starting the new school year, I’ll also go ahead and say that there are few things more awkward for me than having to pose for a picture by myself.  NOT my cup of tea, folks.  I feel awkward and I never know what to do with my hands and it’s just a hot mess, you know?

But for all of you dear readers and friends who have asked me how this pregnancy is going…I’m willing to post a bumpdate or two! They won’t be every week, but I’ll try to do maybe one once a month as whole thing progress.

First and foremost, the most important part of any pregnancy update…the bump!

Pregnancy Update 15 weeks

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Womanly Wednesday: A Guest Post On Wrestling With Mental Illness

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Welcome to this week’s Womanly Wednesday! I “met” today’s guest poster through one of those crazy small-world connections.  I recognized her unique last name in a blogging group and asked her if she knew an old friend that Jordan and I had done Young Life summer staff several years back.  It turns out she had married that old friend! I’ve loved getting to know her via email and blogging these last few weeks and love her deep heart to find gratitude and joy in the midst of brokenness. I’m so grateful to have her sharing her heart on the blog today and hope you’ll head over to check out her awesome blog, The Demczack Days, for more of her thoughts on life, marriage, and faith! 

My eyes welled up with tears. I started to sweat. My head pounded. My vision became blurry. My body began to shake unforgivingly. My mind raced with nothing. I felt light-headed, dizzy. Could I breathe? I felt like I was choking. My stomach sank. Salty tears spilled over and down my cheeks aggressively. I took sharp, loud breaths. I sat on the floor, not caring that I was at work.

Womanly Wednesday Wrestling With Mental Illness

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The Assumption That Is Changing Our Marriage

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You can tell me it’s because I’m a girl, because I’m a Type A planner, or because I’m just kind of a worrier, but I know this one thing for sure: when I start to freak out about something, my mind spins and spins and spins.  I get one thought stuck in my head and it seems like things spiral out of control until I’ve imagined the whole world ending and everything I love falling apart (all in the span of about five minutes).

Assuming The Best In Marriage Sobremesa Stories Blog

When it comes to our marriage, this can be especially challenging.  Early on in our dating years and in marriage, I was quick to imagine the worst.  If Jordan was late getting home for dinner, I assumed it was because he was frustrated or annoyed with me and wasn’t looking forward to coming home.  If I tried to initiate vulnerable conversation and Jordan seemed tired, my mind started to spin with the insecurities that he was thinking I’m too much and too emotional.

If I was disappointed in or hurt by Jordan in any way, my mind went immediately to a place of shame and insecurity, assuming that everything he did was somehow a reflection of his heart for me, his love for me, and what I was ultimately worth, to my husband and in general.

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Friday Faves: A Birthday Shoutout To The Guy Behind The Blog

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If you’ve been here a while, you know that marriage is one of my favorite topics.  I’ve learned so many things since my hubby and I got married a little over two years ago and I have a heart to encourage other women in their marriages.  But as much as I write about marriage, I haven’t spent all that much time writing about the guy in my marriage: my handsome, hilarious, and oh so wise husband, Jordan.

Since that special guy is turning 26 this weekend (which makes us feel really old and might make many of you think we’re pretty young), I thought I’d dedicate today’s post to him.  I thought about sharing 26 things I love about him, but y’all, that’s just too many things (not that I couldn’t come up with them, more that I might have to save that for our own date nights).  Since Jordan is born on the 11th, I think I’ll just share 11 random facts/things I love about this guy!

Without further ado…the guy behind the blog!

11 Random Facts About My Wonderful Husband

1) Jordan led Young Life for five years and Young Life is how we met! 

In case you missed our love story I shared a while back, Jordan and I met while working at a Young Life Camp in New York the summer before our junior year of college.  I remember loving his silly sense of humor, his deep heart to love kids, and his amazing blue eyes and tan muscles (true confessions).  We spent a month working in the snack bar together before heading back to our respective states (me North Carolina, him Missouri).  Four months and lots of texts, phone calls, Skype dates, letters, and one fateful visit later, we started dating!

At a local Young Life "Muckfest" in 2013

At a local Young Life “Muckfest” in 2013

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Fall Inspiration: 10 Delicious Pumpkin Chocolate Recipes

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I know this has been said by pretty much everyone, but I’ve got to say it too: I LOVE fall.  Despite growing up in southern California, I am not a summer girl and hate pretty much everything about the heat.  I love a good day or so at the beach and love the freedom of summer, but nothing puts me in a worse mood than constant, muggy heat (just ask my husband…he can verify that I am an absolute delight to be around in high temperatures, especially while pregnant!).

That being said…fall is one of my favorite seasons.  Not only do I love the pretty rustic decor and all the other things everyone else loves about fall, I love that it means the transition into winter.  It’s such a sweet reminder that all things come in seasons, that hard seasons always fade into sweet seasons and vice versa.  For a million and one reasons, this Californian-turned Midwestern girl loves everything about the season from September to November.

Pumpkin Chocolate Recipes Fall Picture

Take me back to fall days like this from our first year of dating!

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Womanly Wednesday: Guest Posters Needed!

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My heart for this blog is that it be a place of sobremesa, a place where we gather around the table and share our hearts and our stories.  And if just one person does all the talking while we sit around the table, it doesn’t make for much of a conversation.

I started the Womanly Wednesday series to give other women a chance to share their stories in this online space, to open up the conversation to include other voices besides mine.  I emailed friends from my childhood, from my college years, and from my life here in Kansas City and asked them to share a part of their story.

Womanly Wednesday - Sobremesa Stories

The very first Womanly Wednesday post was by my friend Haley and she described her struggles to reconcile being a “grownup” with following her dreams and chasing adventure as a humanitarian photographer.

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Three Reasons To Share The Struggles You’ve Been Hiding

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Since I was in high school, I have always been little miss cheerful: always happy and smiling and always the one to listen to other people’s issues instead of trying to complain or focus on my own.  But underneath the smile and the sweet exterior, I wrestled deeply with feelings of shame and unworthiness.    I was scared for my messy heart to be revealed so I bottled all my struggles up inside, positive that if I shared what I was wrestling with with anyone else, they would confirm all the thoughts running on repeat in my head: I’m too much, too emotional, not worthy of love or belonging.

Three Reasons To Share Our Struggles

High school Lauren worked at Build a Bear, loved Christmas, and apparently wrote the word “thug” on her fingers.

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Five On Friday: House And Blog Makeovers

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We made it to the weekend! Wooooooooo! It’s been a fun week in my blog world and my real world, and I’m excited to share it all with you folks!

1) New Blog Design

You might notice things are looking pretty different around here! Like I mentioned in Wednesday’s post about being willing to invest in my blog dreams and take my blog seriously, I spent the last few weeks working with the wonderful Madison Wetherill of Grace and Vine studios to makeover my blog.  I LOVE how it turned out and feel so much more comfortable in this new space! Working with a designer helped me to accomplish and change some things I’ve disliked about my blog for a while now, and I can’t recommend Madison enough!  To give you some perspective, my old blog design looked like the picture below.  I am so glad I took the time to change it and make it something I love!

Original Blog Design

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