Six Things I’ve Learned In Six Months Of Breastfeeding

Before I start this post, I want to say it loud and clear: however moms choose to feed and love their baby is fine by me.  I trust that every mom is ultimately making the best decisions for herself, her little one, and her family, and as long as our babies are fed, I’d say we’re doing great! 

Since my sweet boy is about to turn seven months old, it has been over half a year since we started our breastfeeding journey.  Six months was my initial goal for breastfeeding, and now that he’s past that, it feels so natural that I don’t see any reason to stop! Learning to breastfeed has had its share of hiccups for both me and Caleb and I as we’ve figured out our own rhythm, but it has been a joyful experience that has transformed me in so many ways.  As I look back on these first six months, these are a few of the things I’ve been learning.

1) My body is freaking amazing.

Before we got pregnant, I remember having these strange doubts about whether or not my body could actually do this crazy thing of growing and delivering a little one.  Throughout the whole pregnancy I was in awe that MY body was growing and nourishing this tiny human and that awe has continued as I’ve exclusively breastfed him for six months.  This tiny human was sustained by nothing but my body for 10 months of pregnancy and 6+ months of breastfeeding and that is awe-inspiring, miraculous, jaw-dropping kind of stuff (or at least it is for me).  Even though I’m a lot more stretched out and saggy than I used to be, this body of mine is doing something life-nourishing and life-changing every single day.

2) I can trust my body to do the things it was designed to do.

At various points in these six months, I’ve struggled with a question that lots of breastfeeding mamas wonder: Is my milk enough for my baby? I have always been and probably always will be someone who struggles with control, and breastfeeding challenges me every day to simply trust – to trust that my body was made to do this, and even though I can’t count the ounces my little one is getting each time, he is getting what he needs.  His sweet, milk-dripping smile as he drinks remind me that I can trust this body that God gave me, even when there isn’t tangible proof that it’s doing what He designed it to do (aside from my baby’s very sweet, milk-covered kissable cheeks).

3) Sometimes my mama intuition is more important than what the books say.

According to most of the baby books, my little man would quickly even out to eating about every 3 hours.  Well you know what? That never really happened.  For the longest time he ate about every two, and even as he settled more into an eat-wake-sleep routine, short naps meant he was up and hungry about every 2.5 hours.  Now that he’s awake for longer, he eats closer to every 3-3.5 hours but he took his sweet time to get to that point.

For a while I worried that I should somehow try to stretch him out, distract him to help him get to some magic interval before he ate again, and I finally just gave all that up and decided to feed my baby when he woke up and seemed hungry.  Just because he didn’t fit the pattern didn’t mean I was failing as a mom or he wasn’t a “good” baby, it just meant that he was his own person with his own schedule.  I’m slowly learning to trust that he will do things at his own pace, and as long as he’s healthy and happy, it’s okay if we don’t perfectly follow whatever parenting philosophy is the most popular right now.

4) Just because something is natural doesn’t mean it’s easy.

Breastfeeding is hard, y’all.  I basically went topless for the first month because any kind of clothing hurt the girls too much (real talk).  There were frustrating moments where Caleb would get so worked up and hungry that he wouldn’t latch and we both sat sobbing in the glider.  There were nights where it seemed like he nursed for hours before we both finally collapsed in exhaustion.  When that little cry rang out in the darkness for yet another middle of the night feeding, I desperately wished Jordan could get up and feed him so I could just SLEEP.  Things gradually got easier, but those first few months reminded me that any new skill will take time, practice, and lots and lots of grace to master.  Even the things we are made to do require persistence and lots of learning!

The best view!

5) It absolutely takes a village.

I could not have made it through all the challenges I mentioned above it if weren’t for the encouragement and support of my village.  I had women in so many different places cheering me on.  My friends and family who breastfed were always a text away, encouraging me and answering all my questions.  I learned so much from the breastfeeding Facebook groups I joined and those women made me feel so normal in all my crazy questions and emotions.  My husband was so supportive, even if all he could do was hold me while I cried and vented or rock the baby back to sleep after I fed him.  I couldn’t have made it this far without my village and I am so grateful for every person that texted me, messaged me, or answered all my many questions.

6) I love my son more than I ever could have imagined.

I’ll be honest, breastfeeding was not an amazing bonding experience in the beginning.  I was exhausted and overwhelmed by the constant needs of this tiny human who desperately wanted to be touching me at all times.  As much as I loved him, breastfeeding felt more like a chore for about the first 6-8 weeks.

As it started to feel more natural and Caleb started to wake up to the world a bit, I began to enjoy those moments more.  I started to love the feeling of his little hand stroking my chest, his body curled around my belly as he nursed.  I started to laugh when he would look up at me and smile mid-nursing, breaking his latch to giggle and talk to his mama.  I started to relish how my body was his ultimate comfort, how his suckling would slow as he drifted into sleep until he finally stopped entirely, his weight sinking into my arms as I lay him back in the crib.

Now our nursing feels so normal, so sweet, so easy.  When I pull him into my lap, he latches immediately, and the times we spent sitting together are little pauses in my day, reminders to slow down and be grateful for this healthy, joyful little boy whose life I get to witness each day.

Being a mother is beautiful and challenging and full of so much joy, and seeing my son grow healthy and strong from my body alone has been such a gift.  I don’t know when our nursing journey will end, but I am so grateful to have come as far as we have.  Here’s to six more months of sweet nursing snuggles with my favorite milk-drunk bubba!