Sobremesa Stories

Letting stories unfold around the table

Why It’s Dangerous To Shame Another Woman’s Feelings

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Since I started blogging last April, I’ve tried to be intentional about what I choose to post about.  I never want to write in a way that seeks to incite controversy just for the sake of inciting it. It seems like the internet isn’t a safe place to disagree with people while still loving them so I’ve just avoided more opinionated posts.  But when I read 2-3 articles with similar messages over the last few weeks, I got a little upset.  So with all the grace in the world and knowing that not everyone will agree with me on this one, I decided to respond.

Here’s a very short summary of one of the articles (and the other two were pretty similar):  The author was out at a public place and overheard a pregnant woman talking to a friend.  The pregnant woman was sharing about her pregnancy and told her friend that she had cried when she found out they were having another boy.

Why It's Dangerous To Shame Another Woman's Feelings In Pregnancy

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What To Do When You Feel Like A Fake Grownup

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When I would watch movies of adults living out their marriages, families, and careers, I felt like they had figured out the secret to being a grownup.   I imagined that when I graduated or got married or got my first job, I would feel capable and mature like they did and would be more than ready to take on the challenges that each of these new life stages would bring.

But when those big life milestones came and went and I kept moving forward into adulthood, I didn’t magically feel grownup and confident.  I just felt like the same me I’d always been, except I was wearing a graduation cap or a wedding dress or staring shocked at a positive pregnancy test at 4 AM on a July morning.

On Feeling Like A Fake Grownup Pregnancy Announcement

Source: Haley George Photography

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Testimony Tuesday: Fighting For Healing

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When I graduated college a few years back, it seemed like I had everything lined up for me.  I was headed to Kansas City to finally be in the same city as my long-distance boyfriend of two years, I had a teaching job lined up, and would start classes for my Master’s degree in education soon after I arrived.  That boyfriend soon became my fiancé,  and after a whirlwind seven months of teaching, wedding planning, and night classes, we got married.

From the outside, everything was perfect.  But from the inside? My heart was aching.

Sobremesa Stories Testimony Tuesday

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Wrestling With The Fear Of Miscarriage

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When Jordan and I found out we were pregnant this summer, it felt completely surreal (You can read more about the journey here!).  I took the positive pregnancy test at 4:00 AM before we headed to the airport for a 10 day trip to Mexico and California, so the whole thing felt like a blur.  I wanted to be excited about the pregnancy and all the possibilities within it, but more than anything, I just felt fear.

I feared that the THREE positive pregnancy tests I took were somehow a mistake, that I’d somehow made it all up and the doctor would tell us we were wrong.  I feared that there was something wrong with the baby and it wouldn’t implant correctly or grow correctly or do just about anything the way it was supposed to.  I was scared my body would somehow not be able to grow and carry this way the way it was designed to and the baby wouldn’t make it.  Even though I’m young, healthy, and have no previous miscarriages or medical issues that would make my pregnancy particularly high risk, I worried that something would go wrong.

There was joy and excitement and dreaming about our little one, but more than anything, I was so, so afraid.

Positive Pregnancy Test

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Womanly Wednesday: A Guest Post On Wrestling With Grief

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Thanks for stopping by for this week’s Womanly Wednesday!  This week’s post is by an amazing friend of mine from Davidson named Louise.  When I met her during her freshmen year and my senior year, I was so in awe of her sweet spirit, her heart to love people, and the deep way she was starting to process her grief about all that she describes in this post.  It has been a blessing to know her and see her start to explore God’s grace in the midst of her grief, and I hope you learn as much from her story as I have! 

Womanly Wednesday Louise Headshot

It was spring of my 4th grade year. He was only in the hospital for 24 hours. No one saw it coming. But at age nine my world was wrecked from the inside out as my sweet daddy and favorite person in the world went to go see Jesus. I was blown away, heartbroken and terrified. I had no idea how to respond or what I should think or feel. But I knew that Jesus was holding our sweet, broken family- it was evident by the great and strange sense of peace we felt. But how to respond to such a thing? I had no earthly idea. So when someone told me to “be strong for your mom” in the weeks that followed, I did just that.

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Womanly Wednesday: A Guest Post On Eating Disorders And Second Chances

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Thanks for stopping by for this week’s Womanly Wednesday!  This is one of my favorite parts of the week where different women bravely and vulnerably share their stories. This week, we have the honor of hearing from a lovely new blogging friend named Liz.  Liz writes about marriage, motherhood, and life over at Sundays With Sophie, and her blog is definitely one you need to add to your must-read list!   I love how bravely and honestly she is sharing about her journey of wrestling with an eating disorder, and I have a feeling you will too.  

Hi, I’m Liz!  This is what you know about me, mama to Sophie, and wife to Kyle.  I’m the sole writer of Sundays with Sophie.  Mama by day, blogger by night and wife on the weekend.  But, here’s something you don’t know about me.  Something that I haven’t talked about before, something I’m bravely telling the world.  I’ve suffered from both Anorexia Nervosa.  It happened quickly and quietly.  This is my story.

Womanly Wednesday Sundays With Sophie

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Why Your Marriage Is More Than Your Sex Life

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All right, guys, we’re getting kinda real today. Posts like this are hard because they require a lot of vulnerability, but reading honest posts by brave bloggers helped me get through a season of our marriage where I felt deeply ashamed and alone.  I hope you’ll read it with respect, compassion, and kindness (as you always do).  Thanks for sharing the real and the hard with me, my friends.  

In a lot of ways, I think Jordan and I were well-prepared for marriage (or at least as well-prepared as you can be).  We’d talked through a ton of topics ranging from finances and hobbies to relationships, community, and general expectations.  We were on the same page about so many things, and we’d had many wonderful couples remind us that getting married would not fill some void in our heart, that we would still wrestle with questions of identity and worth that we’d wrestled with for most of our lives.

But the one thing we quickly found out we weren’t so prepared for? Intimacy.

Intimacy in marriage can be confusing and hard and this post gives encouragement for anyone struggling in this area.

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Womanly Wednesday: A Guest Post on Finding Hope In Illness

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Welcome to this week’s Womanly Wednesday!  This week’s post is by the lovely Liz Sievert (formerly Liz Powell).  I met Liz through a church small group last year and was immediately struck by how friendly, caring, and pretty much hilarious she is.  She has a steady wisdom to her, the kind of wisdom that comes when someone has wrestled deeply with the Lord about who she is and come to the hard-won conclusion that she is fully known and deeply loved no matter what. It has been a joy to get to know Liz these last few years and it is an honor to have her sharing her words on the blog today!  Also, be sure to check out Liz’s blog for more beautiful stories about her everyday adventures in life, faith, and marriage.

“Wholeness is brokenness owned and thereby healed.”  -Brennan Manning

Womanly Wednesday Hope In Physical Brokenness Bride

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Womanly Wednesday: A Guest Post On Anxiety

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Thanks for stopping by for this week’s Womanly Wednesday Guest Post! Today’s post is by my friend Jenny Hall.  I met Jenny (a fellow California girl!) before we started our freshman year at Davidson College, and have learned so much from the brave ways she has reached out to other people and to God to wrestle with deep questions of who she is and what it looks like to live her faith and her life well.  She is an incredibly passionate person who loves deeply, feels deeply, and runs after the things she loves with everything she has.   I am so grateful to have her vulnerable, funny, and beautiful words on the blog today.  

Womanly Wednesday Anxiety Oxford Jenny

There was a time in my life when I thought a lot about my armpits. I planned my outfits carefully. Sleeveless tops were best, obviously, but if I had to wear sleeves then I most definitely needed a sweatshirt on hand – even in 100 degree Southern California summers. It takes a lot to sweat through a sweatshirt.

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How To Break Your Marriage Conflict Cycle

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If you are dating someone, married, or have been either of those things at some point, you know that arguments with your significant other happen.  Any time we share our hearts, bodies, and souls with another person, it’s inevitable that some sort of friction will rise up.  Even the best happily ever after’s have a solid argument every once in a while, and anyone who tells you differently is either lying or hasn’t been married long enough to get down to the nitty-gritty (it only took us maybe…hmm….3 days into marriage to get to this point.  We’re over-achievers, you know?)

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