The Truth About Being Married And In Ministry

Ever since high school, I’ve been part of an amazing ministry called Young Life. I remember being thrown into the backseat of a car and taken to club my freshman year, and I loved it from the start. We sang songs and played silly games, heard a short message, and just got the chance to feel like kids for a little bit. Then I went to summer camp for a week, and my life would never be the same.  

I could go on and on about Young Life and how it’s impacted my life, but here’s what you should know for now: for the first time, I realized what the call to go and make disciples truly meant, and I’ve been living that out ever since. From leading as a college student, teacher, and then as a wife, ministry has always been a part of my young adulthood. You may have ideas of what married ministry looks like, but here’s the truth.

Leading a ministry together as a young married couple is both the most exhausting and most wonderful experience. I truly do not know how people do it without both spouses being involved and on the same page. My sweet hubby, Aaron, and I found ourselves leading cabins at Young Life Camp just one month after we said “I do”. I should preface with the fact that we both lead youth ministry together when we were in college, so finding ourselves thrust into the mission field in our newlywed days didn’t come as much of a surprise.

We don’t know marriage without ministry. Period. But, truthfully, I don’t regret it for one second. I think it’s very easy to become selfishly obsessed with our own young marriages, as we navigate intimacy and partnership together for the first time. Not that we shouldn’t love our spouses deeply, like the gift from God that they are, but we can’t lose sight of our bigger meaning and purpose- one that is about more than just enjoying our spouse.

And for me, ministry has brought purpose to our marriage. I have seen the ways in which the Lord uses us to advance His kingdom and to bless others. I have truly gotten a glimpse of how we are stronger together than we are apart. I have held back tears as we lead fifty plus high school kids in worship. I have dug into the Bible in preparation for a message, and seen my husband be my biggest cheerleader. I have watched the Lord open doors in the most amazing ways, and allow us to be a small part of the huge plan He has in place.

The Joys Of Leading A Ministry Together

Here are some of my very favorite things about leading a ministry together as a married couple:

1. Inviting kids into our home. Some of them have never had a home-cooked meal or conversation around a table before.
2. Modeling marriage and healthy relationships for them. Though we aren’t perfect, we are rooted in our faith and love for our Lord and each other. It’s been fun for kids to notice our joy, our humor, and how much fun we have together as we seek to love them. And they do notice.
3. Sharing our own dating experiences (within reason) to help teens navigate relationships of their own amidst the lies of this world. We have a happy ending that can give them hope that it will be worth it in the end for them to stand by their values and faith.
4. Inviting kids to be a part of our family (both spiritual and Earthly). Showing them that they are loved and valued and known is amazing. We may not have any biological kids, but we have hundreds of others.
5. Keeping the big picture in mind. Little meaningless disagreements don’t seem so big when you’re focusing on sharing the Gospel with kids week after week.  And you don’t really care about having cable or the nicest house when you’re investing in kids’ eternities.

There is so, so much to love about loving each other and loving a ministry that both of your hearts burn for. But, if I’m honest, being married and being in the mission field at the same time can have its struggles.

The Struggles Of Leading A Ministry Together

Here are some of the hard things about leading a ministry as a young married couple:

1. It takes a lot of time and energy. It can be exhausting.
2. Finding a ministry and life balance can be hard. We often find that we have to travel in order to truly feel a break from the stress and busy schedule that comes along with ministry, which makes our travel adventures even more special.
3. It can be lonely. Friends assume you are too busy to hang out, and so they don’t ask you to. Our schedules are more free than people think. Thankfully, we always have each other, and are truly best friends.
4. You care about and love so many kids that your heart aches for all of them. When they make bad choices, it weighs on you. When they are lost, it hurts. When you see them mess up, you feel responsible.
5. You know that eventually your role in the ministry will have to change as you age (and when kiddos come along some day), and that can be hard. Especially if the ministry is sort of your “baby”.

We are better people because of the time we’ve dedicated to ministry together. Yes, we’ve given up some Netflix time or hours we would’ve been sleeping, but the sacrifice has been oh so worth it. I am thankful that our marriage is stronger than ever, and we have worked to make sure that we do keep up with our own physical, spiritual and mental needs (and cherished date nights). If you’re in ministry, you must make sure to plan and give yourself times of rest and grace.

In the end, I have no doubt that the Lord has us right where He wants us. It has been amazing to see the way He has led us on and through this journey, and I’ve been so thankful to have Aaron right beside me the entire time. I can’t wait to see where the Lord takes us in the future, and I though I know that our roles within ministry will change, we are both excited about continuously being involved in and supporting ministries of some kind. Because telling others about Jesus, and helping spread His word is always worth it. No matter what.

Currently,
Kelsie

Kelsie is an energetic, extroverted wife, teacher, and follower of Christ who loves laughing, being outside, and going on adventures. She blogs over at Currently, Kelsie, where she is passionate about sharing stories, suggestions, and real conversation. Her mission is to love fiercely, learn fearlessly, and live fully in the midst of this crazy, ever-changing world. You can join her by following along on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.