Womanly Wednesday: Mothering A Challenging Baby

Welcome to this week’s Womanly Wednesday! I “met” this week’s guest poster Susannah when I started following her blog about a year ago.  I love her heart to encourage women in their faith, their marriages, and their parenting and have already learned so much from what she’s shared about her journey with her sweet boy.  Make sure to check out her blog, Simple Moments Stick! 

I always knew I wanted to be a mom.  As a little girl I would carry my dolls with me everywhere and, as I grew up, my “dolls” became human babies.  Anytime a parent let me I would commandeer a baby and keep him or her as my own until the parent absolutely needed their child back.  I could not wait to have a child of my own.  I couldn’t wait until I was the parent who would be able to take my child back after he or she was loved on by someone else.

My husband, Nate, and I got married the summer after we graduated college.  We were 22 and ready to take on the world.  Although I would have been happy to have started popping out babies right away, we knew it would be much wiser to wait until Nate graduated from his graduate program so I could work during that time and help us keep from having to take out loans for his degree.  I knew it would be good for us to have time as a couple before kiddos came along so I was happy to wait.

About a year before Nate was going to graduate we were ready to “pull the goalie” and start trying for our first little one.  Four months later two lines showed up on a pregnancy test and our lives changed forever.

The reality of motherhood started setting in during my pregnancy.  Thankfully I never experienced morning sickness and was relatively healthy the whole pregnancy.  It wasn’t all fun and games, though.  Not only did I get horrible hemorrhoids (we’re not going to talk about that…) but I also have a genetic disease and an aspect of that is horrible joints.  Combine horrible joints with the loosening of the joints that go along with pregnancy and… well…  let’s just say I was in horrible pain for probably six out of the 9 months.

But I knew I wanted to be a mom.  It all would be worth it as soon as my little man arrived.

The day Caleb was born was a fabulous day!  I could not have wished for my labor and delivery to have gone any better and was so thankful that I finally had my heart’s desire.  I was a mom!  This was who God created me to be.  Everything would be good now.

Yeah, right.

You guys, my little Caleb was HARD!  I always just thought that my child would be easy going and go along with our lifestyle but Caleb had other plans.  This child would NOT go in a carry pack.  This child would NOT take a bottle.  This child NEEDED to be fed every two hours.  This child would NOT nap.  And, worst of all, this child would SCREAM for hours and hours every night, refusing to fall asleep, and the only thing that would calm him would be Nate or I bouncing him on a yoga ball (like I talked about in this post). Hours and hours were spent on that thing, calming our little boy.

Motherhood was nothing like I expected.  My marriage suffered because Nate and I didn’t have time together.  Every evening one of us was bouncing Caleb and, as soon as we were done, we were falling into bed, exhausted.  My sanity suffered because I couldn’t be away from Caleb for more than an hour and a half at a time.  He needed to eat.  He refused a bottle.  I had to lay my desires aside and serve him.  My household suffered because I couldn’t clean.  I couldn’t shop.  I couldn’t cook.  Everything was a wreck.

Ultimately, I had to give it all over to the Lord.  No, this wasn’t what I was expecting from motherhood but I knew that He had put the desire to be a mother on my heart and He would help me get through this.  That didn’t make things easier but it did make my spirit more calm.  I laid aside my preconceived notions of mothering.  I laid aside my preconceived notions of having the cleanest house and the tastiest dinners.  I focused on my little man and being the best mom to him that I could be.  He wasn’t the child I was expecting but he was the one God gave me and I love him to pieces.

Around one, Caleb all of a sudden mellowed out like crazy!  He became so easy and fun!  Motherhood became more like what I had dreamed it would be.  Within the past two weeks we’ve figured out that Caleb has a severe milk protein allergy and that was a part of why he was so crazy as a baby and, although it breaks my heart that he wasn’t feeling well for a year and a half, it’s wonderful to know that I took the time to love on him and focus on my fussy baby’s needs instead of selfishly focusing on what I wanted.

I chose to be a mother.  I choose to be a mother.  I love being a mother.

I’m Susannah, blogger at Simple Moments Stick – a lifestyle blog focused on marriage, parenting, and faith.  The two men in my life are Nate – who’s the hottest worship pastor I know – and our precious, stubborn, opinionated, amazing one and a half year old son, Caleb.  I spend my days caring for Caleb, connecting with women through blogging and IRL, and crafting for my Etsy store: Simply You… and baby too – pretty much my dream job!  My heart behind my blog is to connect with other women around the country (and world!) to love on and encourage one another.  Come on over and get to know me better!

Make sure to check out Susannah’s blog or follow her on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, Bloglovin, or her Etsy shop!